


Changing the Bath Water

by invisiblehabits



Category: BORN (band), Jrock, MEJIBRAY
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 20:09:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4405793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisiblehabits/pseuds/invisiblehabits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“This isn’t going to change things between us, is it?”</p><p>“Of course it will,” Tsuzuku replied without looking up from his phone. “You’re the one who taught me change isn’t a bad thing.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changing the Bath Water

**Author's Note:**

> If I could remember how to tag people on this page I would do it, but instead I will just say thank you to Aki and Sam for help and suggestions, and as usual to Chriss for the title. I would be lost without you girls.

Some days off were better than others, and for some reason Ryouga felt like this one would rank pretty high. It was early still, earlier than he was entirely comfortable with after last night, but he felt happy and relaxed and Tsuzuku’d slept soundlessly all night. That was always a thing to revel in when one knew what nightmares, even sleep terrors, would usually plague him. The only thing plaguing the both of them now were persistent headaches, but Ryouga at least wasn’t feeling nauseous. 

“Remind me again why we drank like that last night?” he half laughed, half groaned as he returned from the bathroom. The words were sort of muffled behind the fluffy towel he was using to wipe water off his face, but Tsuzuku seemed to understand him just fine. 

“Cause we could?” was the offered reply, uncertain in a way that indicated they hadn’t really had a reason, wondering since when they needed one. “I’m pretty sure it was your idea...” 

“Probably,” Ryouga admitted with a grin, he was usually the one to instigate the worst ideas. Like drinking loads right after a show, when they were all sleep deprived and worn out from three weeks on the road. Not that anyone had complained, they’d just joined in on the fun.

The grin on Ryouga’s face melted into something softer when he looked up from his towel. Tsuzuku was sprawled out on the bed, arms spread out with his shoulders pushed up and twisted in a way Ryouga highly suspected would’ve hurt had it been him. But Tsuzuku wasn’t like ordinary people, neither in mind nor when it came to body functions. Flexible barely began to describe the things he could do with his body, and Ryouga sometimes didn’t know whether to be disturbed or impressed. He did not deny it looked damn good on stage though. 

Not that the sight before him, twisted shoulders aside, was bad either. Unlike Ryouga, Tsuzuku had a tendency to sleep in as little as possible, even when they shared a bed. And that had more or less become the norm whenever they were touring together. Tsuzuku slept better with a warm body next to his, said it made it easier to remember the cold fingers grasping for him at night weren’t real, and Ryouga didn’t mind the way he could sometimes cling desperately after he woke up trembling with fear and covered in cold sweat. Maybe it should’ve been awkward with Tsuzuku dressed in underwear or less, perhaps it would’ve been had Ryouga been straight. But now he wasn’t, and the feel of naked limbs bereft of female softness didn’t bother him one bit. Lately it had begun to have an opposite effect even, one Ryouga wasn’t entirely sure what to think of. 

“You’re staring,” Tsuzuku declared when the silence dragged out, a statement more than a question, and he hadn’t even opened his eyes. With the tone of voice used he might as well have told the texture of the roof. 

“You’re posing,” Ryouga countered in the same deadpan matter-of-fact tone. The corners of Tsuzuku’s mouth twitched with the giveaway of a smile he refused to let loose. It nearly earned him a towel to the face, but it probably wouldn’t have bothered him very much. “Freak,” Ryouga murmured, a dangerous slip of tongue considering Tsuzuku’s mentality. 

“Flatterer,” came the reply, somewhat unexpected but pleasing. Eyes devoid of contacts, and shocking dark therefore, opened and that smile finally broke out as Ryouga met the gaze, ignored any emotional reaction that wanted to escape, and simply shook his head slightly. 

“Freak,” he repeated, mumbled under his breath without knowing quite whom it was directed at. In lieu of searching for the truth he flopped back into bed and half mindlessly snuggled up to the slightly taller, much skinnier, body already there. 

Both of them were naturally cuddly individuals, something many mistook for stage show or fanservice and often got shocked about seeing in personal settings. But Ryouga was the type to hug his friends and steal body heat when cold, and Tsuzuku seesawed between extreme clinginess and do-not-touch-me crises. What few realised was that the best cure for those breakdowns was a very firm, very forceful hug where you refused to let go no matter how bad he struggled. 

“My head hurts,” Ryouga mumbled at lengths as he tried to keep his eyes open. He didn’t particularly mind, having experienced far worse headaches and hangovers in the past, but mostly it was something to say to try and stay awake. “You really should keep me from drinking so much.” 

“Mhm,” Tsuzuku mumbled, sleep mixing in with the clearly unimpressed tone. “I’m more inclined to suggest a pick-me-up breakfast.” 

Full lips spread in an unguarded smile against a bony shoulder and a chuckle ripped through the slow pounding in his head. “We need to stop spending so much time together,” Ryouga giggled tiredly. “I think I’m having a bad influence on you.” 

The arm he was resting on shifted from its awkward curled up position to wrap around his shoulders in a silent reply Ryouga took for what it was. They dozed for a little while longer. Or at least Ryouga did, he had a feeling Tsuzuku didn’t join him in slumber, not after he’d already slept all night. He came to to the insistent tugging on the hair at his nape, uncomfortable enough to wake him up properly but not hard enough to actually hurt. 

“You’re such a child,” he mumbled. “What do you want?” 

“Breakfast,” Tsuzuku stated while wriggling out of the embrace. He got out of bed and into clothes with a surprising amount of grace, considering how much alcohol he’d had last night, not to mention how little sleep he'd gotten over the past few weeks. "You coming?" 

"I need to shower you know," Ryouga grumbled, more to avoid getting out of bed than anything else. Without the warm body next to him though, the pillows and covers were rapidly losing their appeal. 

He rolled out of bed a moment later, literally rolled and nearly face planted on the floor as a result. Tsuzuku chuckled slightly before throwing a shirt in his general direction and disappearing into the bathroom. Ryouga heard the sink run and the distinct clink of a toothbrush being picked out of a glass. 

“We can go bathe after breakfast,” Tsuzuku suggested, muffled around the brush but quite audible. 

Something about the tone of voice made Ryouga mentally pause in pulling the t-shirt over his head. It was phrased as a suggestion rather than a question, definitely not a demand, but he doubted many others would’ve picked up on the slight differences. 

“Sounds like a plan,” he agreed and filed the information aside, to be remembered if needed but not brought up without provocation. It was how he dealt with a lot of Tsuzuku’s moods and oddities. “I’m sure the hotel staff knows of a bath house around here somewhere.” 

The smile he got in return, foam lined and with a piece of bright blue plastic sticking out, proved exactly why Ryouga put up with it all. There were times when Tsuzuku’s depressions, mood swings, and suicidal dramas almost got the better of him, but at the end of the day, week, however long it took, it was always worth seeing him like this. 

“Right…” He got up from the floor and found his jeans and the checkered flannel he’d been wearing too much lately. “Let’s find a combini first. Pick-me-up breakfast, was it?” 

* 

Half an hour later found them back at the hotel room. Only now they had beer, cheap wine, fresh cigarettes and candy in their possession. A girl at the reception had told them where to find a bath house nearby and Ryouga was genuinely looking forward to going. 

“I feel like a teenager,” he said on a chuckle, lips pressed against the beer can just before he tipped it back for a last swig. “Or maybe it’s just rockstar life, beer for breakfast.” 

“Bet your head doesn’t hurt anymore, no matter what,” Tsuzuku countered and fiddled with his phone. Ryouga knew he’d already posted a picture of their antics on instagram, but he couldn’t say he cared too much.”I wanna smoke.”

“Then let’s get going,” Ryouga suggested and opened another beer for the road. “We’ll go smoke and then head to the bath house. I really want to go now.” 

Where at first it’d been an easy enough agreement, he now really longed for the hot suiting waters and the simple pleasure of an old fashioned bath. Most of the time Ryouga managed a quick shower before falling into bed or stumbling out the door, proper baths were spared for special times with friends or, in one memorable occasion, business deals. He liked it, but it got down prioritised. 

“Come on,” he repeated, almost impatiently, as he got up and headed towards the door. Behind him Tsuzuku followed suit, found his shoes, and was out the door even before Ryouga himself. 

They walked in an odd silence, at the same time comfortable and somehow charged, sipping beer and smoking slowly. That alone was a tell, Tsuzuku usually went through them like candy, but Ryouga was reluctant to push for information. He wasn’t stupid enough to think a bath would fix all the mixed up thoughts and feelings inside the other’s head, but he feared the clam effect should he start asking questions. It was easier to simply pull the other along through the bath house dressing room and showers, into the warm water, and sink down to let the heat relax him until Tsuzuku found it in himself to give any sort of clue as to what was wrong. 

Because something was wrong, that became clearer and clearer to Ryouga the longer the morning progressed. Tsuzuku submerged himself alongside him, at one point going so far as to make use of the lung capacity years of singing had provided him with by letting himself slip beneath the surface and staying there for an uncanny amount of time, but remained curiously locked inside his own head. 

After some time he climbed out of the tub altogether and found a minimal seat for himself at the edge of the stone tub. Outside the giant window was nothing but more water and Tsuzuku seemed to lose himself in the neverending field of reflecting light and shallow waves. Curled in on himself he looked so small and somehow simultaneously serene and terrified. Or maybe not terrified, but there was something uneasy, almost restless, in the way he shifted his shoulders without properly moving. As if he was waiting for something but didn’t know what, and thus not what to expect or how to prepare. 

Without thinking Ryouga reached for Tsuzuku’s discarded phone. His own had been left in the changing room but luckily he knew the other’s password, didn’t even have to think as he accessed the camera and snapped a picture. Lowering the phone he kept looking at the image, staring at the captured moment and tried to take it apart on his own. It was a beautiful picture, a beautiful moment in that it held a very vulnerable and fragile atmosphere that rarely let itself be caught on camera. 

“What’s wrong?” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, raw in their sincerity and he didn’t know whether to regret them or not. So much for not risking the clam effect. 

“It feels surreal,” Tsuzuku replied immediately, much to his surprise. “Or rather… It feels too good to be real…” 

Putting the phone aside, careful to move it out of reach of the water, he moved along the edge of the tub until he reached Tsuzuku’s side. Slow careful movements, as if he might scare the other. The look he received once he crossed his arms on the edge next to Tsuzuku told Ryouga the other hadn’t fully decided whether or not he wanted to flee yet himself. 

“How so?” he questioned and put his chin on his arms, keeping most of his body in the water still but refused to be the one to break eye contact. Tsuzuku did so instead. 

“It feels too good to be real,” he repeated and returned his gaze to the water outside. “I didn’t have any nightmares, can’t remember last time that happened, and last night was really fun. This morning was comfortable and fun, and now we’re here, bathing, like an old married couple.” He sighed and hugged his knees closer to his body in a clear display of discomfort. For a moment Ryouga thought he was done confessing, but Tsuzuku surprised him yet again. “I can’t shake the feeling it’s all going to break down somehow. I’ll wake up and be alone, or this’ll all turn into a nightmare any minute. I hate it when you’re in my nightmares…” 

When he glanced down to meet Ryouga’s gaze again there was something truly frightened in his eyes that made Ryouga realise this had happened more than once. He rarely asked about Tsuzuku’s nightmares, merely listened to what little bits and pieces the other told him and offered comfort, but now he wondered if maybe he ought to have inquired more at times. 

“Come here,” he said and put a hand on the other’s hip, tugged softly to try and make him turn back towards the bath. He smiled softly when Tsuzuku unfolded and slipped back into the water. Moving backwards he coaxed the other to follow until he could lean back against the corner and guide Tsuzuku to rest against him, back to front. 

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, practically into Tsuzuku’s ear. “You’re awake and everything’s okay, some days are just good, even in your life.” 

It was a bit like dealing with a wounded animal, which was a comparison he’d made around Tsuzuku more than once, and Ryouga didn’t relax until he felt Tsuzuku give in and practically melt against his body. He kept touching him, hands whisper soft as they moved through water over arms and torso. At first Tsuzuku just remained still, relaxed and floppy against his front, but after a while Ryouga felt bony fingers gently dance across his thigh. 

“Thank you,” Tsuzuku whispered, a mumbled sound as he turned his head and spoke directly into Ryouga’s neck. He could feel the lips move against his skin and Tsuzuku went on. “I know I’m difficult, but you always put up with me.” 

Ryouga didn’t know what to say to that, so he simply tightened his hold on the other and knew it was enough when he felt Tsuzuku smile against his neck. They stayed like that, Ryouga’s hand stilling as Tsuzuku’s continued to move. It was nice, relaxed and comfortable, comforting in the physical closeness, and the fact they were both naked was initially not a problem. Gay or not a naked body quickly became nothing more than part of the job when you grew used to cramped tour busses and tiny changing rooms backstage at venues. Ryouga had seen Tsuzuku naked countless times, even outside their shared hotel rooms, but he found it harder to ignore when pressed together in heated water and with wandering hands. 

“You might want to give those hands a rest,” he suggested, somewhat embarrassed, once he began to get a bit too aware of the warm body in his lap. 

“Why?” Tsuzuku asked, seemingly innocent but the complete opposite to anyone who knew him. His clever fingers moved further up Ryouga’s thigh as he pressed back closer to his body. “You usually don’t mind my presence…” 

“Your presence, in this sense, usually involves more clothes and a crowd,” he pointed out and tried to push the other away, only to have him grind back against him properly. His breath actually caught at the pressure and involuntarily he gripped the other’s hip hard. “Tsuzuku please,” he whispered, voice strained as he tried to remain in control. 

A very self-satisfied giggle escaped Tsuzuku as he relented and moved his fingers. It was nice to see his insecurities curbed for the time being, and Ryouga would’ve felt very pleased had more of his blood been in areas that encouraged thinking. Moving his arms to rest against the edge of the tub he tried to go back into friend safe zones, even as Tsuzuku stretched out to grab his phone, only to snuggle back up against Ryouga anew. 

“I’m not sure I like this picture,” he said and Ryouga looked down to find the one he’d taken before. 

“I do,” he admitted and almost subconsciously moved a hand to rest against Tsuzuku’s hip again. “You look beautiful.” 

Tsuzuku only snorted, but with a few rapid clicks he’d posted it to instagram. “There, let’s see if people agree with you,” he said with a smile and put the phone back on the edge, precariously close to the water. 

“They’ll know someone took that photo for you,” Ryouga pointed out, but Tsuzuku only shrugged. 

“They know I was with you this morning, let them wonder,” he grinned and purposely changed his position in a way that could’ve almost passed for innocently. 

“Fuck,” Ryouga hissed. “You really are something.” 

Laughter echoed off the tiled walls beautifully and Ryouga couldn’t help but smile even as he tipped his head back against the edge of the tub. It was uncomfortable and he ended up slouching down somewhat, deliberately using his hips to push Tsuzuku’s body further out on the submerged bench despite how it put the right kind of pressure in all the wrong areas. It made Tsuzuku laugh more and he seemed completely unbothered by what his presence obviously did to his friend. He just leaned back against Ryouga’s chest and patted his thigh once more. 

“I take that back,” Ryouga groaned, giving up all pretence of being unaffected. “You’re horrible sometimes.” 

“I’m just teasing,” Tsuzuku said on a grin. “You can jack off in the showers when we get up.” 

He paused then, and Ryouga could practically see the cogwheels turning inside that sometimes deranged head. He wasn’t sure what to expect when Tsuzuku moved from his reclined position to instead straddle one of Ryouga’s slim thighs. It was weird, having him so close in what felt like it should be a sexual situation but simple wasn’t somehow. Tsuzuku met his eyes once more, one hand on the edge of the tub for balance, the other floating above his own thigh beneath the water. There was an odd mix of seriousness and playfulness in his eyes. 

“Or you could do it right here,” he suggested shamelessly, leaving no room to argue what he was talking about. Ryouga couldn’t even find it in himself to be shocked by the suggestion, not after what they’d done together on stage more than once. “I’ll even watch you, if you want.” 

And there it was, the catch that wasn’t a catch so much as it was a bait. They both had a slightly exhibitionistic streak in them, it was how they could do what they did onstage without the slightest bit of shame. Ryouga was aroused, by Tsuzuku and his presence, and Tsuzuku not only knew this but sought to exploit it. Part of Ryouga argued that maybe he ought to feel upset about that, but it was so tiny it became insignificant. 

“You’d watch me get off, knowing I’m thinking of you?” he asked instead, and fisted his hands to keep them from reaching out for the other. 

“I’d be highly offended if you thought of someone else when I’m right here,” Tsuzuku replied and moved out of his lap, across the tub and out of the water. He arranged himself at the edge of the tub, posed to prove a point and grinned in the most seductive way he could. 

“You’re straight,” Ryouga pointed out even as one hand found its way between his own legs, unable to resist. 

“Doesn’t matter,” the other said. “I’m not doing anything.” 

There was something hungry in his eyes that could’ve contradicted what he said but didn’t. Tsuzuku was watching him, intently even, but Ryouga saw no desire in his gaze. Curiosity, yes, and interest of the kind displayed before a new experience, but nothing more. Wrapping his fingers around himself he groaned and let his head fall back, decided not to care as he enjoyed the way he could feel those eyes lapping up every expression he made. 

Between the lubrication from the water and weight of that gaze it was ridiculously easy to get fully hard. Throwing caution to the wind he allowed himself to fully submerge in the fantasy of his best friend, remembered the feel of Tsuzuku’s body against his own just moments ago and wondered what it’d feel like to have those fingers move from thigh to where his own were now. It was such a bad idea, but he wished he could feel him now, pressed against his own body and helping him out. 

A breathy chuckle made him flush and open his eyes. He groaned loudly, almost desperately, at the sight of Tsuzuku, fingers wrapped around his own cock and that same hunger blazing in his eyes. Ryouga had to squeeze the base of his erection to keep from coming then and there, which only made Tsuzuku grin wider. 

“Liking the view?” he questioned rhetorically and let out low groan.

“Fucking hell, Tsuzuku,” Ryouga groaned and moved his hand again, resigned himself to the fate of a soon to be orgasm. “You’re so fucking vain, you know that?” 

Because it was obvious to him then that Tsuzuku wasn’t so much getting off on him, as on the fact that he was wanted, that Ryouga wanted him bad enough just then to give in and get off to his image in a public bath house. And Ryouga found that he was perfectly alright with that, because he got to see Tsuzuku stripped bare with his head tipped back in breathy laughter as he stroked himself off. Wet hair clung to his makeup less face and water drops rolled down his naked body and he was so fucking beautiful Ryouga tipped his head back and came with a groan. 

The world was a little fuzzy around the edges and blood was still rushing in his ears when he, way too soon, forced his eyes open and his mind to refocus on Tsuzuku. As if he’d been waiting for it Tsuzuku met his gaze, heated hunger making his eyes seem more alive than Ryouga could remember having seen offstage in a long time, before he tipped his head back and came with a strangled sound that was so purely Tsuzuku Ryouga felt his cock pulse desperately in its spent state. He laughed then, in the face of the ridiculousness of the entire situation and the realisation that he really wouldn’t mind doing that again. 

“That… wasn’t half bad,” Tsuzuku grinned and pulled his fingers through the mess he’d made on his own stomach. 

“Getting off to being wanted?” Ryouga could only smile at Tsuzuku’s completely unabashed look. “Vain, so vain.” 

“And satisfied, just like you,” he got for a reply as Tsuzuku stood up. Joints cracked and vertebrae popped as he stretched, completely unashamed of his naked body and Ryouga wasn’t stupid enough to not enjoy the view when freely presented. “I’m ready for a shower, you coming?” 

And just like that they were back to friends, displayed in the tone of voice and the question tinting the smile sent his way. Ryouga nodded, content to slip back into the familiar sleeve of friendship as he rose from the tub and found his towel. Wrapping it around his waist he tossed the other to Tsuzuku before retrieving the discarded phone, somewhat amazed to find it hadn’t gotten wet, and headed for the showers. 

*

The message arrived when they were on the way back to the hotel, Koichi asking why the fuck Tsuzuku wasn’t answering his phone, where they were, and if they wanted food before it was time to leave. Ryouga replied they were almost at the hotel and would meet the others in the lobby. The two of them had barely spoken a word since they got out of the bath, but it was a comfortable silence. 

“You need anything from the room?” Ryouga asked and indicated two armchairs if the answer was no. Tsuzuku replied by falling into one of them. With a smile Ryouga took the other one and sent a message to say they’d arrived. While typing he felt a weight in his lap and glanced up to see Tsuzuku’s naked toes resting on his thigh.

“Why d’you take your shoes off?” he asked somewhat confused. 

“Felt like it,” Tsuzuku replied and raised his phone to take a picture. “There, daily coverage completed!” 

He couldn’t help but smile at the almost childish antics, not to mention wonder what their fans were going to think about the three consecutive images. Some, no doubt, would see it as proof of them being more than friends, others equally undoubtedly would not pick up on anything more than that they hung out together, a selected few might not even realise that he took the second image for Tsuzuku. It amused him, how the minds of fans would sometimes jump to conclusions and at other times could be in complete denial of seemingly obvious things. Being into both men and women, Ryouga had long ago learnt to be discrete about his affairs, but he figured any interaction with Tsuzuku would nowadays be passed off as fanservice. Still… 

“This isn’t going to change things between us, is it?” He didn’t know why he asked, but Tsuzuku was probably his best friend and he couldn’t stand the idea of not being there for him when he needed it, perhaps more so than the rest of their friendship changing.

“Of course it will,” Tsuzuku replied without looking up from his phone. “You’re the one who taught me change isn’t a bad thing.” 

He poked Ryouga in the thigh with his toe and looked up to meet his eyes, smiled in a way that somehow told Ryouga that no matter what everything would be okay. It made him release a breath he’d barely realised he’d been holding and allowed him to fully fall back into normalcy. 

“But you’re still straight?” he questioned. 

“I’m still straight,” Tsuzuku confirmed. “Straight enough to not change the routine for this tour or the final we’ve prepared.” 

There was an almost invisible smile curling the corners of his lips as he spoke and Ryouga couldn’t help but laugh under his breath at the thought of it all, wonder what might happen during or after those shows. 

“Good to know,” he mumbled as he saw their band members spill out of the staircase and into the lobby. “Then put your shoes on so we can get some food and get back on the road.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the absolutely lovely little treat of pictures Tsuzuku, for real, posted on his instagram roughly 39 weeks ago (which I assume would mean somewhere in October 2014). If you haven't seen them, have some links to his official instagram account: 
> 
> 1\. https://instagram.com/p/uZGx9-EEHq/  
> 2\. https://instagram.com/p/uZbtm6EEHd/  
> 3\. https://instagram.com/p/uZ65QWkEIb/


End file.
